by Debbie Rodrigues | May 21, 2018 | Challenge, Health and Wellness
If you want to be more successful, you need to learn how to stop complaining. Discover how your daily journal entries can help you accomplish that.
Don’t ask what the trigger was, but around the end of 2017, a person very dear to me started nagging all the time.
It got to the point every time her name showed on my caller ID, I got tense.
I wanted to be supportive, but I didn’t want to listen to an hour-long conversation about everything wrong in the world.
As I started avoiding my friend more, I began to realize I was exhibiting some of those same whiny, unappreciative traits.
Aggressive drivers “made me” nag. The annoying rainy weather was always brought up in conversations. Noisy neighbors got me grumble.
I had to do something about it!
While it sounds like an overwhelming mission, little by little, we all can cut down complaints.
And the tool I’ve been using for that isn’t anything else than my journal.
This was my realization
As I noticed my friend complain more and more, I realized I had become a complainer too!
As it started to bother me, I realized that more and more people were on the same path too.
Complaining doesn’t make you a “bad” person, however, it’s a major waste of energy.
And, it doesn’t accomplish anything either.
Keep in mind that it is excellent to:
- share our struggles with the intention of brainstorming for a solution
Nagging for the sake of nagging, on the other hand, doesn’t change a thing!
We end up focusing more on the issues themselves instead of trying to find an answer. It happens out of the need of sympathy of others or simply habit.
I had become this kind of person.
To find out if you’re also on the same track, I have three ways to help you out.
That feeling
One day you wake up in the morning, and you realize that most of your conversations have been complaints.
Whether or not you initiated them, you fall into the trap comparing how miserable your and your acquaintances’ lives are.
It isn’t a pleasant discovery, but there’s absolutely no reason to feel guilty about it.
Someone else’s behavior
For whatever the reason, it rings you the bell that a friend of yours does nothing but nag.
The subjects may vary:
Their conversations go around things they can’t control, yet, they complain anyway.
This was my wake-up call!
Someone calls you a “complainer”
This is probably the most confronting one of all.
No one likes to hear anything negative about themselves.
Mainly when you feel all you were doing was sharing.
But your perception of sharing isn’t necessarily the same of those around you.
If that’s your case, be thankful for someone showing you the light at the end of the tunnel.
Now it’s time for action!
The solution
Whatever your situation, know that you can always choose to keep on doing what you’ve been doing or make a change. Needless to say, I recommend the latter.
After all, complaining is nothing bad a habit.
It’s a habit that sucks up your energy.
It also shifts your focus away from being proactive and looking for solutions to a passive approach to your life.
First of all, don’t let guilt stop you from taking action.
Grab your journal and start your daily review:
- What things did you complain about throughout the day?
- What happened? Be as detailed as possible.
- Why did it bother you so much?
- Could you have solved or mitigated it?
- Let’s be honest, did complaining help you anyway?
Day after day, you’ll notice you have more energy. It also becomes easier to focus since you have fewer distractions. As a result, you’ll find it easier to say goodbye to procrastination.
If you need a hand to stay consistent and motivated to change, come to the 52-Week Challenge For A More Productive You.
Get all the information and support you need to become a better version of yourself one day at a time.
Before you go
Can you answer the following question in the comments below, please?
Do you find yourself complaining on a regular basis?
by Debbie Rodrigues | May 14, 2018 | Challenge, Health and Wellness
While it happens to all of us, find you why you need to keep it real when you are a perfectionist. Learn how I dealt with it recently and get started right away.
You have probably heard about the negative side-effects of perfectionism.
We already know it influences both our professional and personal life.
Maybe, just like me, you make an effort to keep it real most of the time.
But chances are you fall into its trap too.
In fact, it has just happened to me.
Vacation time
After over two years working non-stop, I decided to take a month break in 2018.
I booked a trip to Brazil, my home country, to visit my mom, friends, and mainly, to RELAX.
I bought my ticket for the best time of the year – from mid-April to mid-May.
Fall’s mild weather in Rio is perfect for someone who is more used to overcast weather than basking in the sunshine.
I would be there for Mother’s Day and my birthday (May 12th). It couldn’t be more perfect.
Once my flight was booked, I started rushing through my work. I wanted my business to run on autopilot while I was gone so I could totally relax.
All I wanted was to chill and have some rest!
Reality check
It didn’t take me long to realize I was going to take work with me.
No matter how many hours I worked every single day, it wasn’t enough to cover all my regular responsibilities.
I did everything I could, but it wasn’t enough.
I had to say goodbye to my perfect vacation.
Not only did I bring my work, I faced unexpected challenges too:
- Statutory Holidays,
- unstable Internet,
- needing to travel long distances, and
- too many appointments.
Without being able to execute the way I wanted, stress took over.
This is what happened
Statutory Holidays
One of my first appointments, a visit to my doctor, was delayed because of a Holiday.
In May 2018, three holidays fell around the weekend.
Not only were my appointments delayed, but there were so many people traveling it was impossible to meet with the people I intended to meet with.
Unstable Internet
It took me about two weeks to realize how to make the most out of my mom’s Internet connection.
When there are a lot of people using it at the same time, it is less effective. I had to adjust when I wanted to work around when it was less busy.
As a result, I had to kiss my planned Facebook Lives goodbye which was very disappointing.
Needing to travel long distances
Rio de Janeiro isn’t a small town.
I should have known that very well after living my first 26 years there. But I guess I forgot how it felt.
The time spent going from point A to point B forced me to call off a lot of plans.
Too many appointments
My mom is my number one reason for flying all the way to Brazil.
However, there are also my friends, things I like to do, and places to go.
To make a long story short, I:
- only met a fraction of the people I wanted to see.
- went to CrossFit Volans just 3 times.
- did only one single tour.
With the exception of a couple visits to the mall, I spent most of the time at my mom’s…
… working.
So long, farewell, vacation.
It’s still a work in progress, but find out how I’m dealing with my inner-perfectionist these days.
Getting over it
After my first week, I was ridden with disappointment and frustration.
My expectations of a fun and relaxing time chilling below the tropics went down the drain and I wasn’t happy about it.
My perfect vacation turned into a sunny, but very stressful break.
I reached a point when I was about to have a burnout DURING MY BREAK. 😱
Then and there, I realized I had to do something about it.
First of all, I let go.
I accepted that:
- my videos weren’t going to be edited,
- my blog posts were going to be late,
- Four weeks weren’t enough for everything I wanted to do.
Then, I started to slow down.
If I wanted to at least relax, I had to re-prioritize things differently and accept the fact that my plans needed flexibility.
Finally, I had to forgive myself for my “bad” planning.
Feeling guilty for not having the vacation I had dreamed of wouldn’t change anything.
It’d just make me more stressed.
I’m not going to lie to you and say that, once I came to terms with being more flexible, everything was fine. I still had to remind myself to relax.
I count this as a valuable lesson in managing my perfectionism, though.
It helped me make the most out of what I had instead of complaining and wasting my trip because of the things I couldn’t change.
If you want to learn more ways how you can overcome your perfectionism to develop a fulfilling and meaningful lifestyle, come to the 52-Week Challenge For A More Productive You.
Discover tips and tricks you can apply to your routine to become a better version of yourself one day at a time without feeling overwhelmed.
Before you go
Can you answer the following question in the comments below, please?
How do you deal with the perfectionist in you?
by Debbie Rodrigues | May 7, 2018 | Challenge, Health and Wellness
Everyone should learn how to worry less with daily journaling. Discover how simple it is and its benefits for mental health and success.
As you sit down to your morning coffee, you already notice your jaw is clenched. Your shoulders are tense. Worries about the future have gone from background noise to a physical burden you can’t shake. Your heart rate is higher. You’re less patient with loved ones. Each day isn’t a fresh start. Instead, it is marked my compounded anxiety.
Whether it’s financial, relationship, or job-related stress, if we aren’t careful, it can overpower us.
The truth is everybody worries
It’s pretty much impossible not to worry.
We’re concerned not only about the things that happen to those close to us but also in the world.
Even today’s children are worried about issues such as:
- global warming,
- school safety, and
- their futures.
Despite how overwhelming stress can be, it makes no sense to try to eliminate concerns from our existence.
Still, just like we do with stress, fear, and anxiety, we can and should, understand and manage our worries.
How to worry less with journaling
There’s a journal for everything.
This is because YOU get choose how to use yours.
Recently, even though I’m not an artist, I decided to add art journaling to my routine.
Because of my personality, I tend to be very logical. Therefore, as a means of assuring balance, I started drawing and teaching myself watercolor painting.
It’s my way to develop creativity.
But I also have a Stress Management Journal.
I’ve been keeping it for years already.
I use it to record not only the things that are pressuring me, but also my worries, blocks, and struggles.
So, in a way, it can also be considered my Worry Journal.
How to use journaling to minimize worrying
The best and most efficient way to use journals for personal development is by building the habit of using it daily.
Write
Even if it’s just for a couple of sentences, or for five minutes or so, write.
If you have never done it before, you may feel uncomfortable at first.
If that’s the case, commit to at least ONE word every single day.
Yes, just a single word.
But write it down.
It’s a start.
You don’t have to stop there if you’re inspired, but don’t skip it.
In fact, before moving forward reading this post, grab your journal and get it done for today.
Make it personal
Remember you don’t need to share your writing with anyone.
Let all your troubles out.
Only stop when you are done.
Instead of keeping grudges and concerns in your head, put them on paper.
Save your mind for positive and encouraging thoughts.
You deserve it!
Read and reflect
The main difference between journaling for fun and mental health is the reflection step.
We may even look back at our drawings and paintings to compare our progress.
But when it comes to a Worry Journal, for example, the exercise is more intense.
There’s little to no value in observing:
- handwriting,
- colors used, and
- finishing touches.
What matters is:
- what happened,
- how we reacted, and
- the results.
Making time to go through past records to review events and feeling is an effective way to grow.
Find your journal
While I mentioned art journals as something separate from a Worry Journal, you can still combine them.
Words aren’t always the best way to express feelings even if you’re an avid writer.
A picture is worth a thousand words.
That’s why you should focus on the content, not the format.
You aren’t doing it for someone else or social media.
Your journal is your means of letting go of worries that are holding you back.
Time is a precious asset. And so are your energy levels and (mental) health.
Learn how to use them wisely.
Discover how to worry less with daily journaling.
And if you want to create space in your schedule to grow and become a better version of yourself, come to the 52-Week Challenge For A More Productive You.
Work on different productivity blocks one day at a time throughout the year to:
- boost your confidence,
- free time for the things that truly matter, and
- achieve meaningful and fulfilling goals.
I’ll be there for you all along the way!
Before you go
Can you answer the following question in the comments below, please?
Do you journal for mental health?
by Debbie Rodrigues | Apr 30, 2018 | Challenge, Health and Wellness
Discover the benefits of figuring out your emotions better with journaling. Learn how to you can get the most of it too.
I find it easier to express myself through writing.
Whether it’s a blog post or a letter, I enjoy sharing my feelings, experiences, and thoughts through written words.
It works both when I’m excited and happy, but also when I need a little push.
Either way, I became a major advocate of using journaling to understand and manage my emotions.
How it works
I keep one journal for my business and another one for myself.
Even though the application is different, the method is the same: just write.
There’s no minimum or maximum number of pages. I push aside any preconceived notion of what I should capture.
Instead, I sit down and write absolutely anything that comes to mind.
It doesn’t matter if I jump back and forth, interrupt myself, or make mistakes.
There’s no judgment, only writing.
One of the excellent benefits of this exercise is that it allows ideas to flow.
In the busYness of life, we tend to shut ourselves down.
We think:
- “I don’t have time for it now.”
- “I’ll make time for myself after I’ve crossed off more of my to-do list.”
- “I’ll do it tomorrow.”
When we get caught up in these excuses, we delay the benefits of journaling.
And we go from task to task without reflection, purpose, or a sense of presence.
When we journal, we have the opportunity to brainstorm. As a result, we unveil hidden thoughts and solutions.
Word by word, we:
- Find solutions to old struggles
- Discover our priorities
- Acknowledge our feelings
For example, when I have an idea for a blog post, unless I can write down my initial thoughts, I won’t go further than the first paragraph.
But when I can sit behind my laptop, it all comes out very easily.
The same goes for emotions.
Journaling for feelings
Whether it’s an old grudge or something that has just happened to me, it’s harder to resolve it by analyzing it superficially. And that’s what we do when we simply mull it over in our heads.
It’s necessary that I:
- Review the event
- Reflect on what happened
- Put myself in the shoes of all parties involved
- Come up with a better approach that’s realistic
- Try to solve the situation as-is
It isn’t something that can be done in a minute or two.
It takes at least a couple of meditation sessions and a lot of brainstorming thanks to journaling.
The time I invest saves me from ruminating on negative events and harboring resentment and anger for years.
It’s such a simple approach that people can take it for granted, but I’m here to tell you that it works.
Getting started
First of all, don’t let that the Instagram account of your favorite planner or Pinterest get to you.
The people who appear to be experts at journaling are only that way because they:
- Have been doing it for ages
- Have established a rhythm
- Might have the appearance of success, but aren’t actually executing.
But it’s their experience, not yours.
I’m on vacation right now and using an Erin Condren notebook for journaling.
The paper is excellent for fountain pens which are a newly-found passion.
But using an old notebook works just fine.
And if you need help to come up with ideas, stay consistent and motivated, join the 52-Week Challenge For A More Productive You today.
Learn one day at a time how you can benefit from journaling and other tools to:
- Boost your confidence
- Create space in your schedule
- Define your priorities
- Accomplish your Goals
- Live the lifestyle of your Dreams
Before you go
Can you answer the following question in the comments below, please?
Do you journal on a daily basis?
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